Tell me, do any of you dread the holidays, I know sometimes I do. I don’t know about you, but my heart gets so heavy with sadness during the holiday times. Ohh, I smile and pretend that I’m okay, but deep down there is a hole in my heart that can never be filled. Losing a child is something no parent should have to experience. I miss my Conner so much and his memory will forever be etched in my mind. I desperately miss his sweet hugs and his tender words that said MOM, I love you. He was such a beautiful person and had such a tender heart of compassion.
I’m reminded every Christmas of the times of when laughter filled the walls of my home. When my children were younger the joy of Christmas was so much fun. Always enjoying putting up the Christmas tree, buying gifts and cooking my son’s favorite dressing. Christmas Eve night was spent on the floor, putting gifts together till wee hours of the morning and making sure everything was perfect for the coming Christmas morning. When the sounds of voices would be heightened and eyes wide open with looks of excitement that would come from my children when they saw all that Santa had put under the tree. Showing them with excitement that Santa had eaten the cookies and drank all the milk that was left for him near the fireplace. Seeing their little faces light up would make my heart almost explode with love and joy. God truly did smile upon me when he gave me my three beautiful sons. As I write this, with tears running down my face, the emotions of reliving those precious moments with my beloved children are priceless and never to be forgotten.
Now they are all grown up with their own families enjoying the same fun I experienced when they were young. My how life changes and passes by so quickly. So the seasons of life change and with those seasons we experience happiness as well as loss and disappointment. Life is never easy and yes, sometimes we all feel like giving up. But I am always reminded that there in one thing in my life that has never changed and that is the faithfulness of God. Even though the seasons of my life have been both bright and dark, my God has always been faithful to me to see me through. He has been my constant strength, and even in the darkest nights of my soul, he has always been the light my eyes behold. His love is unconditional and immeasurable and his word says he will never leave us nor forsake us.
I want to reach out to those right now that are reading this and struggling with heartbreak, disappointment,hopelessness, loss and brokenness. Look up, for your redemption draws near. Turn your eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. Give him every burden and every care, for he is the yoke bearer. We cry Abba Father!!! I pray you all have a wonderful Christmas and remember one thing…GIVE THANKS… give thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks to the Holy One, Give thanks because he’s given Jesus Christ, his son. And now let the weak say, “ I am strong” Let the poor say, “I am rich because of what the Lord has done for us” Give Thanks!